Going Home

This is Jacksonville.

Greg and I officially accepted the offer to go back to JnJ in Florida.  Start date is May 27. We both feel really good about it.  Yes, it's far away, but we feel like this is an awesome thing for us to do. Most importantly, we've felt like there are opportunities to serve in the church there, and that's actually our highest priority. 

And to be honest, Greg and I both feel kind of like we're going home. 

In some ways, I can't believe real life is starting. I have a degree.  My husband has a job offer.  I'm working on my Master's.  AND, we're having a baby. 

And soon we will be returning to paradise. 

Life is good. 

Our Conversations Have Changed

Me:  I think it is WAYYY too early to think about wearing maternity clothes.

(Pause)

Greg: But, uhh...

Me: Yeah?

Greg: But you don't own a pair of jeans that fits you.

Good point, Greg.  Good point.

Job Offer!

So, today we got the call! Johnson and Johnson in Jacksonville, Florida, has officially given Greg his offer to return to the company after he graduates.  The offer is not just for any old entry-level position.  It’s for a rotational FDP program.  Basically, it is meant to stand in place of an MBA program and give Greg experiences working in a lot of different areas.  A rotational program at a big-name company looks SUPER COOL on a resume (which is important, because we actually do want to do the MBA eventually).

We are pretty excited around here.  We knew that Greg had done well at his co-opt.  His manager was really fighting for him to come back, and he did a lot of work on high-visibility projects.  One of his projects he presented directly to the company CFO, which had never been done before. But, at the same time, you just never know with these things.  JnJ told Greg that they might have 0 spots open for anyone at all, and obviously there are a lot of candidates, so we knew there was a chance we might not be able to return. But looks like we can head back to the Sunshine State in May if we want to!  I’m so proud of Greg.  He works hard, he learns, and he remembers what he learns. Pretty much, he’s cool.  

We have a week to give them our response.  We’ve already thought a lot about going back to Florida, but I’m sure we’ll do some more thinking in the meantime. Because it’s a rotational program, we won’t be spending the whole time in Florida, we’ll actually go to a different JnJ umbrella company after a year, which means we’ll spend some time probably in New Jersey (???), Philadelphia (!!!) or California (!?!). There are a lot of things we need to consider, especially since just earlier today Greg had an interview with another company who sometimes sends people to Israel or Singapore.  Living international would be so awesome! But it’s also a long shot.

Anyway, all musings aside, we are just really grateful that things have worked out this way.  We feel blessed that we’ve always felt directed about what to pursue and where to go. I’m excited we have this opportunity, and I'm happy for Greg.  Growing up is such an adventure. 

Follow-up

First of all, we're so grateful for all the well-wishes and supportive responses we've received.  Thank you everyone! It means a lot to us.

Second, I've been thinking about some things I'd like to acknowledge.  I've been thinking about them for weeks and weeks, actually.

I just really want to express my feelings for those of you who are still going through hard things with trying to have kids or losing a baby. While I can never know exactly what someone else goes through, I do know that it's hard. I know how difficult it can be to feel happy for other people.  I know how easy it is to feel jealous, and how bad that can make you feel. I know that it just really, really sucks.

And I want to say I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for what you've been through and what you're still going through. Just because we've gained this blessing doesn't mean I don't remember what that pain feels like. I will always remember--it is so much a part of me now. And I'm just sorry. I'm sorry if the way we did announce our news was hard for anyone--trust me, I've been there. I hope you are reading this now, and you know that I still pray and want the best for you.

Please know you can talk to me anytime.  I understand if you don't want to--been there too. But just because we're expecting doesn't mean I'm going to forget how difficult this can be for anyone.  I have prayed that good things would come from our experience.  And good things have come.  One of those is that Greg and I are willing and able to talk to anyone who might need to talk.  We might not say the exact right things, but we love you.

Last thing--I know you are probably super sick of getting advice from people. If it really annoys you--and that is TOTALLY fine--just skip this part.

There are some things that worked for us that I might share.

1. Reach out. Even if you are not a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I would recommend looking at perspectives on infertility at lds.org.  Just reading other people's experiences helped me to know I wasn't alone.  Also, blogs are fantastic.  I made some friends from all different backgrounds, and these friends communicated with me and supported both of us in wonderful ways.

2. Don't take You Are Fine and You Will Probably Conceive Real Soon for an answer if you expect something is really wrong (this seems to me to be an especially prevalent mindset in Utah). Sometimes you will conceive naturally on your own "real soon." Sometimes there are other things that need to be addressed, so if you have suspicions, I want you to march right into a good clinic and sit your little tushie down on the receptionist's desk until someone listens to you.  Chances are they will listen to you, and it might even be more affordable than you think.

3. Don't compare yourself to other people.  Just don't.

4. Miracles do happen.  I stayed awake many nights hurting all over because it just never seemed like things would work out.  But they did.

So let me know if you want to talk. Facebook or email are good.  We hope we can still help anyone who needs it.  Love, Greg and Heather

For This Child I Prayed

This is a statue that Greg bought for me a while ago. 

I love it.  I have always loved it.

But, to be honest, sometimes it made me sad.

So, Greg, being the discerning and wonderful man that he is, discreetly put it away.  It hasn’t been out of the box in more than a year.

But, a few weeks ago, Greg pulled it back out, and put it up for me.  And I cried. 

Because we are—finally—having a healthy baby. 

Due date: March 17, 2014.

The blog is relatively recent.  But this—this news—for us has been literally years in coming.

I am extremely grateful to everyone who has helped us out along the way.  I am very grateful to my Heavenly Father who has answered this prayer and answered many, many others in the meantime.

 

But I have been nervous that something would go wrong.  But it hasn’t.  Nothing has gone wrong.  We have had two really good appointments.  I saw our baby on the screen, just the exact size it was supposed to be.  I forgot to ask for a photo because I was such a mess and so relieved.  And I heard the gentle swish-swish-swish of the heartbeat, strong and perfect.

We got this baby with some help…the last set of femara, follistim, ovidrel, and IUI paid off.  To me, it is just a specific example that hard work and patience pay off. 

March 17.  March 17. March 17.  WE ARE SO EXCITED.

1 Samuel 1:27.