Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A Blessing for Our Little Boys

So our lives for the past month have been different than Greg and I thought they would be.  Different, but the way they were supposed to be. 

We received an unexpected blessing this week.  We started working on getting a marker for Austin and Danny as soon as we could, but we were warned that it would take 4 weeks to get it made, and that the cemetery did not allow markers to be put in during the winter because the ground is too wet. A nice lady at Memorial Art in Springville told us as gently as she could that the marker most likely wouldn't be in until March. 

This broke my heart.  It's hard to go to my little boys empty-handed.  Sometimes I just feel like I have so little to give them. It's hard to go with nothing to take for them and nothing to leave, and we just can't afford flowers every time we go. It was so so hard to walk away from that unmarked spot.  So hard.  And I couldn't bear to leave it empty all winter. 

But, like I said, Greg and I have seen a tiny miracle in that our little boys' marker was laid this past week.  Now everyone knows they are there.  They are such good little boys.  Everyone needs to know this is where they are. Now it isn't so empty. 

Thank you for everyone who helped with donations to make this possible.  Greg and I were set on giving our little twins a resting place, and we were so amazed and humbled at the people in our lives who innately understood how important this would be for us and who so selflessly gave.  In the end, we received enough that all of the mortuary, cemetery, and memorial fees were covered. We are so humbled by that. Thank you so much.  It means everything to me. 

This is the Angel Garden.  It is such a sacred place to us. 

We are doing okay.  Every time I feel sad, I remind myself that I haven't missed out on anything.  Not one thing.  I will have all the experiences and time with my Austin and Daniel that a Mother would usually have, if I try my hardest to do what's right.  Greg and I will raise them together. We are a family, and we always will be. This is only possible through the Atonement.  It increases my love for the Savior and my appreciation of what it is that He has done for me.  

Sometimes our greatest trials are also our greatest blessings in disguise. 

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Faith in the Zollinger Household, Part 2

One day, not today, but one day I will be ready to tell the whole story.  It is something people have done for me and it needs to be something I do for other people.

We had two beautiful baby boys born in our family on October 4, 2013. Austin Scott Zollinger was the oldest and born at 6:47 pm.  Daniel Keith Zollinger followed at 6:53 pm. They were both gorgeous. 

Every single thing we have been through in the past 2-3 years was absolutely worth it to hold my little boys, even just for a little while. They were perfect. I could feel how important these children are to our Heavenly Father, what amazing missions they had to fulfill, and how wonderfully strong and faithful they are. I feel so very privileged to be their mother. 

We buried them in the Angel Garden at Provo Cemetery.  It was a bright morning. The place was dedicated as a place of comfort and peace, but also a place of learning for Greg and I and for all our future children. 

It has taken me off guard, but I feel an immense gratitude.  I am grateful to know that these are my boys.  I will have them again. One day I will raise them. They will be with me my entire life. They will watch over our other children like the big brothers they are. I am grateful I had the amount of time I had with them.  I am grateful that Heavenly Father allowed Austin and Daniel to join our family. Never has any blessing of such worth been given to me. Our hearts are full of them. I am a Mom. 

The most important thing for anyone to know is that Greg and I have testimonies of the Plan of Salvation and the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father watches over us.  Priesthood blessings are real and the words in them are sure. Families can be together forever. Because we know these things, Greg and I don't feel we must focus on anything we might have lost.  We focus instead on all the things that we have gained. 

When things started to go wrong, Greg and I asked for a miracle.  We did receive a miracle, of a whole different kind and caliber. We have had so many personal manifestations that this is what Heavenly Father had planned for our children, that they came to our family for a purpose, and that we will see them again. 

This I know the same way I know anything. We love our little boys, and we know everything will be okay. 

Please keep us in your prayers just a little longer, and remember also that many families go through this, but don't have the truths we do. They deserve to know, and we must try to help teach them. 

Love, Heather and Greg 

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Time for General Conference

So, Greg and I are both members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Some know us as Mormons.  You can view our personal member profiles on here:

(Don't mind the glaring typo on my intro...I'm still a nice person)

Anyway, so General Conference for the church is coming up this weekend.  General Conference is an opportunity for members and nonmembers alike to listen to church leaders talk about gospel topics.  We believe that just as there were Prophets and Apostles in Biblical times, there are leaders called by God on the earth today who are able to help us know Heavenly Father's will for us. Prophets and Apostles talk about church doctrine that relates to the stability of the family, our relationship with God, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

I know that General Conference can be a source of guidance and inspiration for all of those who take the time to watch and learn. Last October, Greg and I had a particularly awesome experience with listening to conference.  If you remember, we had been through a miscarriage in the summer, and were still not sure when we would be able to welcome children to our family. Greg and I specifically talked about things we needed to hear at Conference.  Mostly I think we were just looking for guidance and comfort. There were a number of talks that gave us peace and helped us gain understanding. 

One talk in particular that hit us was given by Elder Shayne Bowen, a member of the Seventy (a priesthood church council).  This talk was called "Because I Live, Ye Shall Live Also." Elder Bowen described his experience with losing a child, and his faith in the resurrection due to the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  He taught about how he knew that families could be together forever, and that our extremely difficult feelings that follow a situation like this one can be soothed through our relationship with Jesus Christ and our faith in His power. Here is a link to his talk.

I remember sitting with tears in my eyes and on my cheeks. Certainly the experience that the Bowen family went through was much different than our own, but it still just really helped. This talk was amazing to us not only because it reiterated things that both of us needed to hear, but because Elder Bowen actually is from Greg's home ward, and knows Greg's family personally.  They sent us a wedding gift, for crying out loud. In a global church with membership topping 14.7 million, Heavenly Father found a way for us to gain comfort and peace in a very meaningful way at General Conference. 

You can stream General Conference from live, so it’s really easy to take a look. Conference is on October 5-6, so this Saturday and Sunday, starting at 10:00 a.m. and then again at 2:00 p.m. mountain daylight time.

Here is a webpage on with videos and other information about General Conference.  (I wish I was cool enough to embed videos and stuff...) 

I know that there is peace to be found on the earth if we listen to the word of God.  I believe in Jesus Christ and I’m glad I have opportunities to learn more about Him.  If anyone has any questions about Conference, I really hope you ask us.