Gratitude Post 5

Today, I'm grateful for Christ, and I'm grateful that as I go through hard things, my relationship with Him can be strengthened. 

Do you ever have time periods in life when you are painfully aware of just how insufficient you are? I am going through one of those times right now. But, it's okay. I know I have a Savior who loves me no matter what. 

Thinking about gratitude these last few days has made me consider some blessings in a new light. One of those blessings is my body. During my struggles with infertility and PPROM (leading to child loss and prematurity), I was never angry about my body's shortcomings. Not really. But I was angry with God, because I had absolute faith that He could grant the blessings I wanted. 

But He didn't, at least not right away. While I wouldn't wish the pain of those experiences on anyone, I also don't think I would change anything, and I don't say that lightly. I'm grateful for a God who lets us grow. Who forgives us when we try to be obedient and humble and loving, even when we don't totally get it right. I'm grateful to be loved unconditionally no matter how bad my attitude and how sassy I feel and how unfair I think everything is. I'm learning and growing, and I'm grateful to go through that process with Deity on my side. This is a God who wipes our tears and cries along with us. This is a God who knows that lasting happiness doesn't mean that everything will be perfect all the time. 

Again, I'm grateful for a God who lets us grow, and who never leaves us while we are doing it. 

Gratitude Post 4

About 4 or 5 years ago, I made a commitment to myself to read more. I love reading. Always have. But with a new baby and no pressing need to read more than was required for my Master's Degree, I had stopped reading very much for pleasure. 

I'm so glad I changed that. Now every year I keep track of all the books I read, and while this might be slightly obsessive, I absolutely love it. The last few years have led me to a very important conclusion: curiosity is the real intelligence. 

I'm grateful for books, because they teach me about my own ignorance. They help me have a little humility. They also get me excited about all the great people and places out there and what a wonderful big world it really is. That might sound cheesy, but it's true. Sometimes my convictions are strengthened when I read viewpoints that are different than mine, and sometimes I change my mind when I believe I've found better information. Indulging my curiosity is a great pleasure, and I'm glad to know that I don't have to be in school to always be learning and progressing. 

So, here's some of my favorite books I've read this year, just in case anyone is interested: 

And this one, which I haven't finished yet but which is excellent so far: 

Gratitude Post 3

 I am grateful for Greg. 

Without Greg, I probably wouldn't know I like hiking so much. I might not have a Master's Degree. I doubt I would have had so many wonderful adventures on the East Coast. Who would I share books with? And who would be a better dad to our kids? 

We were married very young, and we grew up together. I wouldn't change that for anything. Love you babe. 

Gratitude Post 2

 Today I'm grateful for the Sabbath Day and the opportunity we've had to worship at home. Here's Cal all dressed up for church. Look how big he is. 

Here's Brynn pretending to be King Benjamin earlier this year. 

Today as I wrestled my children during a remote Relief Society lesson, I thought, WOW, I cannot WAIT to just sit quietly at church while my kids go to their own classes. That sounds positively dreamlike. It makes me grateful for all the sacrifices people have been making for me and my family my whole life so that I could learn the gospel in a community setting. It also makes me happy that I've had opportunities to serve as well. 

That being said, the most important thing about the Sabbath is our ability to partake of the sacrament and remember the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and we've been able to do that every week in our own home. The sacrament is an ordinance where we take the bread and water to remind us of the body and blood of Jesus Christ. We renew our promise to Him to remember Him and live like Him, and we become clean as we strive to do these things. Because Greg has the priesthood power, he is able to bless the sacrament for us. How monumental is that? I know God wants us to feel close to Him, even and especially during times of upheaval and distress. How grateful I am that He has given us the means to worship no matter what. 

Gratitude Post 1

This week, members of my church were challenged to share one thing they are grateful for each day on social media. Well, lately I've really been feeling like I need a creative outlet. My intention has been to resurrect this blog and just spend some time writing, and this is the perfect time and opportunity to do it. 

So, what am I grateful for? This might sound cheesy or artificially academic, but I'm grateful for leaders, friends, and family that honor and celebrate the concept of gratitude. I'm not sure that really makes sense, so let me try to explain. 

Sometimes it's easy in life to be grateful, and sometimes it's not. Maybe this year is one of the years where it's been difficult to be grateful. Pandemic, anyone? 

We've been lucky to not be drastically impacted by Covid, and I hope not to minimize any of the issues that others have faced this year when I say that. But I can't say that we've come through totally unscathed. Brynn really, really, really needs to make friends. After moving 16 months ago, she STILL brings up all the friends she had in Florida. I miss playgroups and I miss talking with other moms and I miss Brynn being able to play with other kids in a totally unstructured way. If you can't tell, my kids have been driving me crazy lately, and being trapped in the house while having basically zero alone time has been hard for me. 

And that's why I needed so badly to be reminded that gratitude is important. And guess what? Gratitude is important even when it's hard. Gratitude is ESPECIALLY important even when it's hard. I'm grateful that my children are healthy. That's something I can never take for granted. I'm grateful that my home is safe and Greg's job is flexible. I'm grateful that we have still had some adventures this year, like going to Sedona and Bryce Canyon and Horseshoe Bend. I'm grateful that Brynn is still able to go to a few hours of preschool every week. I'm grateful that she is learning to read, and that I can be the one to teach her. Those lessons are treasures to me. 

So, all in all, I'm grateful that I can still feel gratitude, and I'm grateful that I can ALWAYS feel gratitude. I hope that blogging about that this week will help me to make this challenge authentic and personal, instead of just something I do thoughtlessly because I was asked to (not judging anyone here at all--I just know what I personally need to get out of this moment in time right now and I'm trying to be smart about the work I need to do in order to accomplish that). 

So here's to Thanksgiving, and here's to challenges that make us stronger. Stronger, and more grateful.