Wednesday, April 17, 2013

News and Happy Places

First of all, I'd like to say that I was overwhelmed with the response on our last post.  Thank you for the kind words and prayers.  I am so grateful we have so many wonderful people in our lives who love us. We are so very blessed.  That being said, I felt and heard from many people that it is good to talk about these things.  So let's keep talking about it.  

So today Greg and I went to our Family Happy Place.  We don't go out to eat very often.  Let's face it, we're too poor for that. But you know what? Sometimes you just need a juicy double-patty with BBQ sauce.  And also free peanuts and fries that were made from potatoes grown in Sugar City, Idaho.

I had every intention that my next blog post would be something along the lines of "The Awesome Stuff Greg and I Have Been Doing in Florida Instead of Moping Around Because We're Not Pregnant." I've done plenty of moping in the last two years.  And sometimes, you mope.  And that's fine.  But then you learn to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and find happiness even when you don't have the things that you want.  I'm glad that God has given me the opportunity to find the strength to do that.

But, instead of that post, I would like to write about some news we got today.

This month I've done the maximum dose allowed for Femara.  I went in today for like the 650th ultrasound in the last 3 months to see if it had worked.  I had every expectation that it did.

It didn't.

And I'm not allowed to take anymore.

What that means for us is that another IUI is not even an option for this month.  At least not right now.  Nobody knows why I'm not responding the way that most women do.  Apparently I have just about the most stubborn ovaries EVER.  (Which actually might not be that surprising for those who know me best).

There are some additional, more dramatic (and also more expensive) options we could do to try to ensure I start ovulating on my own.  We're going to go with those.  But what if those don't work?  That's a valid question at this point.

Well, maybe I'm supposed to go to grad school.  Maybe we need to move on with our lives and take a break.  To be honest, I'll never move on.  I'll never stop wanting this.  I'll never quit missing the two children who I never got to see.  I want to be a Mom. And I am a Mom.  But I want to be a Mom who has her children. I have wanted this as long as I can remember.  But if I know anything, it is that Heavenly Father directs my life.  Things will turn out best if they turn out in His way.

So that's our news for this week.  It's kinda bad news. But eventually, they've gotta run out of bad news, right?  Everything will be Okay.  We have Five Guys, after all.  Also, stay tuned for that promised post on our lovely excursions in the Sunshine State.  Here's a peek:

Yeah.  We go to the beach quite a bit.  Also a Family Happy Place of ours.


  1. Heather,

    Thank you so much for your kind comments on my blog post yesterday. I truly appreciate it. It fills my heart with so much joy to know that my blog gives people comfort and hope as that has always been my prayer and reason for starting it.

    I am praying for you on your baby journey. It often sucks and it's hard and it's not fair. But hold onto that faith and hope and trust. God's plan and timing is truly perfect. Trust in that! You will make it through and no matter what happens, it will be worth the wait.

    Love and prayers and blessings to you. Keep in touch!

    Amy :)

  2. Heather,
    I admire your courage, strength and faith!!! Keep going girl....It will happen! <3

  3. My heart aches for you.... It will happen!!
    I wish I knew why things don't work how we want them too, well, I do know, but I am sure you are tired of hearing "It will make you stronger", and I am sure you want to shout "I am strong enough now". We love you, and pray for you.
    And you are right, there is always five guys, and Reed's dairy to make you feel better!