Mine.

I can't believe that Brynn is 10 weeks old. I always mean to post pictures of her, but somehow the time has just gotten away from me. How can I sum it up? Life with her is wonderful. Last night as I said my prayers I just poured out my heart for how grateful I am for her. I can't believe how beautiful she is. And I almost can't believe that she's mine and I get to keep her. 

That feeling of "mineness" is something I've been so looking forward to. Whenever I would babysit growing up, I always dreamed of the day when a baby would reach out to me and I would be the one they really wanted. And now, even though she's still tiny, that's what I have with Brynn. I'll be honest, I didn't settle into this feeling automatically. For one thing, Brynn is an IVF baby. This was an incredible blessing for us and I am absolutely sure this is what we were supposed to do to add to our family. I wouldn't have done it otherwise. But it did mean that the whole process of getting pregnant and finding out I was pregnant was a lot different than I imagined it--not bad, just different. And then the whole time I was pregnant I was scared. I tried really hard to connect with her and bond with her, but I wonder if something inside of me held back a little bit because I was afraid that what was happening was too good to be true, and I was just afraid I would lose her. I don't think it's a feeling you can really explain unless you've lost a child in pregnancy before. 

And then when she was born, we were so happy. But let's be honest. The newborn stage is hard, and even though I was crazy with love, I was also crazy with sleep deprivation and hormones. But now that things have settled down a little, and we're getting more used to each other, it's really starting to dawn on me: this is my daughter. She's finally here. She's all mine. 

I'm so happy. 

So here are some pictures of our beautiful Brynn girl. Some are kind of old, but I just want to throw them all up here to document some of my favorites: 

Look at that cute face! 

The carrier is her favorite thing ever, so we go on walks a lot in the park across the street. Look at those lips! 

These pictures below are a big deal because they were the first pictures we got of her smiling, when she was around 6 weeks. Oh man. So adorable. 

The wider my mouth gets the happier I am! 

Just doing my ab exercises in my swaddle sack: 

My super cute coat! 

Aren't hats on babies so darling? 

So I never blogged about it, but we went in to New York City for our 5 year anniversary/my birthday. (I saw The Lion King on Broadway and it was AMAZING!!! Greg officially gave me the best birthday present possible when he bought me that ticket!) Brynn was so good the whole time in the city! Just hanging out with Daddy in Grand Central Station:

Her eyes are so lovely to me. 

She's also a pretty fantastic sleeper. While she's still a little inconsistent, she can sleep from 10 to 6, eat really quick, and then conk out for another 2 hours after that. It's amazing. 

In one of the dresses Mommy made for me: 

Tummy time: 

When she woke up this morning. I can't believe how big she's getting. She was a little immodest because her pajamas got pulled down by her sleeper sack. Greg and I thought it was hilarious: 

If you ever read this Brynn, there is one thing you must always, always know. You were so very wanted. And you are so extremely loved.